Venturing into Fear
Here I am, ensconced in a spa hotel, a three-hour journey southward from Lisbon, amidst the verdant embrace of Portugal. Our voyage has spanned just over a week, and already, I sense the toll on my physique, often pondering the essence of my presence here, distant from the cocoon of comforts that my usual haven provides.
The answer eludes clarity, yet, I endeavor to explore this enigma alongside you. The initial impulse, it seems, is an unquenchable thirst for adventure, a yearning to traverse uncharted terrains, to indulge in the exotic, in hopes of broadening the horizons of my world. My thoughts drift to the old 'Dune' film, where the guiding mantra whispers, "Without change, something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken!" the sentiment has fueled my inspiration and direction since my youth. To depart from the familiar, the secure, the predictable, and to plunge into the unknown is to experience not only the external but to undergo a personal transformation, uncovering versions of oneself endowed with alternate perspectives and dispositions, sometimes more favorable than the familiar selves entrenched in habit. The challenge lies in retaining this new self upon returning home, but often, the mere acknowledgment of a potential superior self is sufficient, with time as the catalyst for transformation.
Another perspective is my confrontation with fear. The diminishment of strength, rendering me vulnerable, unveiled a world far more daunting than before. Once, I perceived myself capable of navigating myriad dangers as a young man. Now, confined within a frail vessel, my existence hinged entirely on others. Initially, the mere thought of venturing beyond my doorstep was daunting. The world, once a vast expanse of possibilities, had shrunk to the confines of a small apartment on Vesturgata.
Yet, I began to dare, learning to accept and trust in the kindness of strangers encountered along the way. A defining moment occurred during an expedition to Galapagos with my mother, where we aspired to visit a beach often hailed as the world's most beautiful. The path led us to a 30-meter cliff adorned with steep stairs. In less than a quarter-hour, two young Ecuadorian gentlemen offered their assistance, and we succeeded. The breathtaking view of the beach was mine to behold, and the gentlemen basked in the admiration of their companions.
Since then, I've traversed far and wide, witnessing much. I've learned to embrace the fear accompanying uncertainty, welcoming it with open arms. For I know that with its arrival, adventures await.
Our days meandered through the cobblestoned streets of Lisbon, navigating its myriad slopes and elevations – a challenging feat for those in wheelchairs, I might add. Yet, the people we encountered were nothing but gracious and helpful. Rene, in particular, displayed heroic efforts in maneuvering my wheelchair, pushing my neck muscles to their limits. Tomorrow, Ýmir and Daney join us, and we shall move to the house we've earmarked for a month-long stay, where I shall engage in my artistic endeavors, and Ágústa shall ride the waves before her serenade at Eurovision.
But for now, this is where I leave you. Until next